Heaven's Not Enough
by Kasumi Rose
Summary: Yami has finally made it to heaven. The afterlife is peace and harmony, but is this really where he belongs? Shonen Ai YugiYami


**Heaven's Not Enough **

_Heaven's not enough_

_If when you get there it's just another blue _

_And heaven's not enough _

_You think you've found it, but it loses you _

_You've thought of all there is _

_But not enough _

_And it loses you in a cloud _

The sound of a pounding surf filled Yami's ears. He blinked away a lingering lightheadedness. Yami pushed himself up. He stood and looked around to find that he was on a deserted beach. From the position of the sun he assumed it was mid morning.

"Aibou!" he yelled out instinctively.

Yami searched the pure white sand, squinted into the surf, and stumbled forward. His hikari was nowhere to be found. Yami's heart swelled with concern for his young partner.

"Aibou!" he called

"Don't yell," A voice called

Yami whirled around at the sound of the voice.

"Hello,"

The speaker was a female. She looked about eighteen years old. She was a few inches shorter than Yami. The girl had long golden blonde hair and indigo eyes. She wore a smile and a white silk gown. Her dress resembled a knee length nightgown with a blue satin sash tied at the waist. Despite her simple appearance, Yami's visitor exuded a mystical and powerful quality. She spoke with a gentle voice that suggested youthful happiness. Yami was spellbound.

"I'm Soliel," she spoke

Yami found his voice.

"Where am I?" Yami asked

"Can't you guess?" Soliel asked smiling

Sheer silver wings appeared on her back. She flew behind Yami, and he turned to watch her. The beach transformed into a vast cloudscape before his eyes. Soliel alighted softly onto a cloud and stood on it as if it were solid. At this Yami's memories of the last few days came flooding back.

"Heaven," Yami breathed out

'That's right, Yugi defeated you in the soul battle and your soul was finally freed. You've finally made it to heaven, Yami Atem," Soliel confirmed

The revelation stunned Yami. This was evident in his red-violet eyes. He was no longer bound to Earth. Yet reaching heaven after five thousand years did not bring him joy as he expected. He felt a small tug in his heart as he thought of all the people he'd left behind. The most painful tug was when he thought of Yugi, his hikari.

"You're surprised you finally made it? Well that's okay. That's what I'm here for. I'm your guide," Soliel said

"Guide me where?" Yami asked inquisitively

"To heaven," Soliel answered

"You mean this isn't heaven?" Yami asked, confused

"Everyone has their own heaven. You must find yours," Soliel answered

She grabbed Yami's hand. He was levitating above the cloud. It was at this time that he noticed that he wore a white robe. Also he noticed a small cartouche necklace Yugi had given him. It bore Yugi's name and he remembered that Yugi wore one that had Yami Atem engraved on it.

"Breath in," Soliel instructed

Yami did

"Now relax," she said

Yami did

"You did it," she smiled

Yami opened his eyes to find himself standing before a glistening Egyptian palace.

"_There" most everything is nothing that it seems _

_"Where" you see the things you only want to see _

_I'd fly away _

_To a higher plane _

_To say words I resist _

_To float away _

_To sigh _

_To breathe… forget _

The palace stood in the middle of a fertile and green land. It seemed that soft jade grass stretched for twenty miles in each direction. Where the grass stopped the desert began with two monumental pyramids rising from the sand. In the other direction, about ten miles, was a wide and rushing river. Above it all the sky shone pale blue with cotton clouds. The beauty of it all astounded Yami. When he turned to Soliel she was gone. He looked down at himself to find his clothes had changed from the white robe to a white and gold tunic. He also wore golden jewelry. Yami climbed the stairs into the palace. Immediately he was reminded of the palace where he had lived when he was pharaoh. Yami found his way into a corridor. Yami explored all over the magnificent palace and found that there was noone else there. Alone with his thoughts, Yami remembered his friends back on Earth and all the things he'd never said to them.

'I miss my friends,' Yami thought

At that thought Yami suddenly began to feel very faint. Then his entire body began to feel weightless, then the sensation of movement. He was flying. At least that was what Yami felt. The world had become a soft blur and Yami could not tell up from down or left from right. Overcome with drowsiness, he closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again he found himself on a couch in his living room. Then he heard footsteps. The door opened and in walked Joey, Tristan, Duke, Serenity, and Tea.

"Yami! You're finally awake. We were getting worried," Joey said happily

"Awake?"

"Yeah after that duel you kinda collapsed. You were out for three days. The doctor said it was exhaustion and that we should let you rest,"

"So it was all just a dream," Yami mumbled

"What'd you say?" Tristan asked

"I had a dream when I was sleeping, I dreamed I died," Yami explained

"Aaaah that's ridiculous man. You've been right here with us. Now what's say we order some pizza to celebrate Yami's recovery?" Joey suggested

"Alright, but that dream…. In case anything does happen, I want you all to know that you are all important to me, and that I care deeply about all of you," Yami said

"Joey, You're getting to be an amazing duelist, and I'm so proud that you're my friend. Tristan, thank you for all your support; you're a good man.

"Oh don't be so sentimental," Duke smiled

Yet still he was brushing away tears from his eyes. Yami picked up the phone and handed it to Joey. When Joey touched the phone it phased though his hand. Yami tried again with the same result.

"You're not really Joey," Yami realized

With that Joey and the happy scene disappeared.

"Yami, what are you doing?" a young voice asked

Yami found himself in his bed upstairs. Little Yugi was standing over him in his star pajamas.

"You were shouting in your sleep, Yami. What happened a vision or something?" Yugi asked

"Oh it was nothing. I must have just been dreaming," Yami replied rather embarrassed.

The dreams had shaken Yami and he felt compelled to do something he had never done before. He sat on the bed with his aibou standing there, looking at him curiously.

"Yugi, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Yami began nervously

"Hmm what is it?" Yugi asked

His purplish-blue doe eyes gazed at Yami, and Yami was struck with how impossibly adorable his hikari was. He looked at his hikari lovingly and took a deep breath.

"I love you," he said

Yugi gasped in surprise.

"I love you too, Yami," he answered smiling

Yami reached out to bring his aibou in for a kiss, but as his fingers touched him, they phased through. Fear and pain filled Yami's heart as he watched his sweet little hikari fade away. He tried to get up to grab Yugi before he could disappear completely, but simply fell.

"So are you enjoying yourself?" Soliel asked

The bedroom disappeared and Yami found himself in the palace again.

"Enjoying myself?" Yami growled, "What is the meaning of showing me these visions?"

"Well this is heaven. What you wish to see is what you see, but wishing does not make things real. Not even here. You wanted to see your friends –to tell them that you cared one last time, so that's what you got. Except those who live cannot be brought here so, the people you encountered were just shadows -apparitions of your friends based on the memories in your heart," Soliel explained

"Then… is heaven just a big illusion?" Yami asked

" An illusion might not be such a bad thing. It can become real if you allow yourself to forget reality," Soliel said

"Forget?" Yami asked

"Yes, take this and slowly your memory of your life on Earth will fade away," Soliel explained, handing him a vial of red potion. Yami, do remember this; heaven is only an illusion until you find the way to make it real," Soliel replied

With that she disappeared. Yami examined the contents in the bottle, swirling it around.

'If you don't remember someone, you can't miss him or her' he thought

He swallowed the potion and fell asleep.

_And heaven's not enough_

_If when I'm there I don't remember you _

_And heaven does enough _

_You think you know it and it uses you_

Time in heaven is indefinite. To Yami weeks had passed since his vision. He began to get used to his afterlife. The days passed by lazily, blending into each other. Food simply appeared when he was hungry, entertainment simply appeared when he was bored, flowers bloomed when he wished, but no one appeared when he was lonely. Soliel came by to visit on occasion, but Yami was alone in his palace. Nothing ever became dirty and the land was always lush. There were times when Yami would sneak off and ride his horse into the desert, he would climb the pyramids or just sit alone and think. Little by little he made a life for himself in this world.

"Are you content Yami?" Soliel had asked him one day as they walked along the river

"I think so," Yami answered

There was nothing that Yami wanted; yet somehow he felt empty and unfulfilled. Somewhere in his heart he felt a longing for something he could not name, for someone he did not remember.

One day, Yami discovered a room in his palace that contained a large pool and an artificial waterfall. Bored, he decided a bath would give him something to do, and shed his clothes and dove in. The cool water was refreshing on his skin and he splashed and swam a little farther. He reached the waterfall, summoned some soap and showered. As he was showering he noticed the necklace around his neck. He had forgotten that it was there. He pulled the charm and read.

"Who's Yugi Moto?" he wondered aloud

_I saw so many things _

_But like a dream _

Always losing me in a cloud 

_Cause I couldn't cry_

Cause I turned away 

_Couldn't see the score _

_Didn't know the pain _

_Of leaving yesterday really far behind _

_In another life _

_In another dream _

_By a different name _

_Gave it all away _

_For a memory and a quiet lie _

_I felt the pain of a cold tonight _

_Still don't know the score _

_But I know the pain _

_Of leaving everything really far behind _

As if to answer his question the water began to ripple, and when it stopped a vision of a young teenager appeared in the water. He had tri colored hair and large violet eyes. He saw visions of the young boy laughing with friends, playing duel monsters, and fighting off bullies. The last image that showed on the water was of the young boy staring out his window looking heartbroken.

Yami's memory suddenly came rushing back with all the force of a typhoon. He remembered Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Tristan. He remembered all those battles and all the good times. He also remembered how they went into his memories to find his name. Then he remembered how he'd erased his memories so that he could believe that this life was real. He remembered how he'd erased it all just because he did not want to feel pain. He realized now that his life in heaven was a lie. He realized that what he wanted was to be back home. The sudden return of his memories prompted a painful aching and longing in his soul. He wanted to go home. He missed it terribly.

"Soliel!" he cried out in anguish

"Yes, Yami?" she said, appearing at his side

"I want to go back to Earth," he said

"I'm sorry, Yami, but that's impossible," she replied

"What?" he asked stunned

She looked at Yami with apologetic eyes.

"You should have never looked into the memory pool. It's impossible to send a soul back to Earth. Even if you could go, years have passed down there. It wouldn't be what you remembered," Soliel replied, "I'm sorry Yami, but you can't return,"

She turned and shimmered into nothingness. Yami gazed at the pool, now clear again. In anguish he threw himself in. He was desperate. There must be a way back. He found the water to have gotten deeper since his bath. He swam deeper and deeper, trying to touch bottom. He couldn't reach it. Suddenly his lungs gave in. He breathed in the water. He felt it filling him, seeping into him, drowning him. As water filled his lungs he felt the world slip away. He fell farther and farther toward an inky black darkness.

_And if I could cry_

_And if I could live what truth I did _

_Then take me there _

_Heaven goodbye _

Yami found himself standing under a cherry blossom tree as petals rained down on him. He was dressed in a dark blue suit. He glanced around confused. Then he heard a voice behind him.

"Yami?"

He turned. There he was-his little aibou. Soliel had been right. Years had passed.

Yami had left Yugi a short, frail 14-year-old; now he was a tall and sturdy 18 year old. Despite the years the distinctive tri-colored hair and angelic face had stayed just as he remembered. Yugi wore a white button up shirt and khaki pants. He gazed at his hikari as petals rained down on both of them. He took a step forward.

"You're back? You're really back?" Yugi asked, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Yes, I'm back, aibou. I'm back to tell you I love you," Yami answered

He grabbed his hikari and kissed him. The kiss was soft, sweet, and filled with emotion. Yami pulled away leaving a dazed but happy Yugi. Yugi quickly recovered.

"You were in heaven. You gave up heaven just for me?" Yugi asked incredulously

"No, I realized that heaven was here with you," Yami replied

He wrapped his arms around Yugi, and gave him another heart felt kiss. Yugi pulled away.

"Let's go home," he said, smiling up at Yami.

"You go on ahead I'll catch up," Yami replied

Yugi was reluctant to go. He walked away slowly and kept turning back. It was as if he feared Yami might disappear again. Yami brushed the petals off of himself.

"Is this real?" he asked

"Yes," a voice answered

Soliel appeared beside him dressed in a white tank top and white Capri pants.

"Soliel!"

"Congratulations Yami! You did it," Soleil said

"So this isn't real?" Yami asked, scared

"No this is real. You realized that your heaven was with Yugi where you were loved. You belong with him so that's why you were sent back. You realized that heaven is nothing without love. Everyone has their heaven, and you found yours," Soliel explained

She hugged Yami affectionately.

"Now go. He's waiting for you," she smiled

Yami thanked her then ran off. He ran toward heaven, toward paradise, toward love.

The End 

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu gi oh or any of the characters

I've been going nuts with the songfics lately haven't I? Oh well when you gotta write you gotta write. The song is called Heaven's Not Enough from Steve Conte and it's from the anime Wolf's Rain. I love the lyrics to it. It's so sad.

Spoiler 

I read about how the series was going to end when Yugi defeats Atem in a soul duel and Atem will finally be able to go on to the after life. I heard this song and I got the idea for this story. I made Yami's last name be Atem because I know it's his real name, but I did not like the idea of calling him Atem in the story. I made up the thing about Yami and Yugi wearing cartouches with each other's name because it was a convenient plot device. Finally, I just guessed at ages for the final scene. I know I screwed up Yami's character in this story and I'm sorry. Incase your wondering there's a reason Yami didn't give Tea a final message in his vision; I didn't want to anger the Tea bashers. Duke and Serenity get no mention because I couldn't come up with what he would say them. Anyway thanks for reading. Please review and I hope you enjoyed this. Any questions, comments, or concerns can be sent to Nkitpanichmsn.com Sayonara. ****


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